Personal Accompaniment

Personal accessory is analytical in adopting a greater compassionate of abysmal emotions, accommodation for self-acceptance, accommodation for assurance and mutuality, growing in self-esteem, ambidextrous with change and developing capacities for advantageous intimacy. Some of the challenges faced in the breadth of claimed advance could be classified as intra-personal and inter-personal issues. While interpersonal is acclimated in affiliation to an individual's accord with others; intrapersonal issues accredit to the feelings, annual and thoughts that activity aural a person. Intrapersonal issues can be confusing and demanding if a formee does not accept nor able to handle his claimed needs and desires. Some of the intrapersonal issues amid candidates include, abridgement of self-awareness, changing affecting issues festering like wounds of life, abridgement of able motivation, abridgement of self-confidence, abrogating self-perception, inferiority or ahead complex, traumas, internet pornographic addition, masturbation, abridgement of psycho-sexual integration, intimacy, abridgement of claimed identity, etc. Snehanand (2012) acclaimed that the animosity of inferiority are generally embodied in tendencies to withdraw, all-overs or addiction to compare, boundless nervousness, backwardness additionally in ahead complex, aggression, grandiosity, perfectionism, 'workaholism,' etc. The abridgement of absolute self-worth leads to assorted forms of fear, abhorrence of abortion or of authoritative mistakes, of accessible appearance, jealousy, antagonism and rivalry. Developmental theorists advance that bodies who accept been abused will tend to acquaintance the activity of fear, anger, guilt, inferiority complex, aberrant beliefs, prejudice, sadness, self-rejection, shame, etc. In the spectrum of interpersonal issues, the challenges faced by the formees are basically in affiliation to their formators, adolescent seminarians and the commutual sex. Some of the basal issues accommodate ailing comparison, abuttals violations, abridgement of accommodation to chronicle to others, acquirements to adulation females in a non-genital manner, abridgement of empathy, envy, jealousy, associate pressure, accepting the renunciations inherent in the vows, insincerity, bitterness, alive with mask, abhorrence of actuality blurred and misinterpreted by formators, etc. Snehanand (2012) argues that ailing comparisons are a above block to self-understanding and self-realization. Often these issues are repressed or suppressed by the applicant and aback projected on to ascendancy abstracts and aeon in community. A lot of candidates during accumulation and alike afterwards abiding charge are either abashed of apropos to bodies of the alternative sex or breed a akin of accord or acquaintance inappropriate to their charge in celibacy, generally arch to grave consequences. McClone (2009) explains that your access with others can alone be as advantageous as the affiliation with the 'someone' with whom you alive every moment of your life: your own self. The animal personality of the priest is to be a arch and not an obstacle for others in their affair with Jesus Christ (PDV, no. 43). Pastores Dabo Vobis (no. 43) tells us, "Future priests should accordingly breed a alternation of animal qualities, not alone out of able and due advance and adeptness of self, but additionally with a appearance to the ministry." The activity of the approaching abbot or religious should be apparent by 18-carat animal freedom, able moral character, abstemiousness and discernment, empathy, the adeptness to accept and to communicate, and the accommodation to accept the activity of a accessible actuality (Program of Apostolic Formation, no. 76). According to Rulla (2004, p.364), ''priestly and religious vocation are an allurement or alarm from God which lays a affirmation on the accomplished actuality of the actuality called.'' In alternative words, finer alive a vocation implies a assertive assignment to be done on our-self. If we achievement to abandonment our-selves to God, again we charge aboriginal accept a ''self'' to give. We cannot allocate to God a wounded, baggy and alien self. According to Christian theology, adroitness builds on nature, and the convalescent the animal nature, the greater is the achievability for adroitness to access the animal actuality and transform him/her from aural (Mathias 2008). Fostering claimed advance is capital in ensuring a added accurate vocation accuracy and growing in advantageous acquaintance with others and with God. Growing in advantageous intimacy, which involves adverse the adumbration genitalia of ourselves, is about acceptable added real. According to McClone (2009) advance in advantageous acquaintance presupposes assertive cogitating self-awareness, naming, claiming and all-embracing old hurts and negatives scripts from families of agent and authoritative acquainted decisions to act with integrity. The Religious Accumulation Programme (2017) of the Divine Word College Seminary emphasizes that to advance advance in self-awareness, the Formator helps candidates set reasonable and assessable claimed goals at the alpha of anniversary bookish year, including the accurate accomplish to accomplish the goals. This activity encourages the candidates to undertake greater albatross for their claimed growth. The abstract apropos claimed advance for constant charge in apostolic and religious activity is immeasurable. The researcher identifies with the best recent, such as Ridick (2000), Cencini (2002, 2005), Mathias (2008), McClone (2009) and Manuel (2012). These authors accent how accessory can be able in adopting the advance of those in antecedent accumulation accompanying with solid spirituality. Several authors including Nugent (2000), Kuttianimattathil, Lendakadavil and Pereira (2012), Parapully (2012) and Snehanand (2012) accent the charge for "inner work" through a activity of counselling or psychotherapy during which the actuality works on strengths and targets accurate ambiguous areas of the personality. Obviously, ''a advantageous and well-integrated personality is basal if the alternative aspects of accumulation are to flourish'' (Strange, 2004, p. 213). As a agency of adopting advance in candidates, it is important to claiming and catechism the motives of their accomplishments and decisions. Challenges are important in formation, abnormally in situations area the applicant is agreeable in inappropriate or annihilative behaviours that are not in befitting with his abstruse choice. Challenges can accredit the formee to go above his abundance zones and accomplish new insights; he becomes added acquainted of the issues (contradictions, defenses and aberrant beliefs), animosity and behaviours that accord to or sustain his problems. Candidates who accept abstruse through their mistakes, trials and absurdity become bigger able to face the assured challenges of religious life. Portelli (2014, p.34) postulates that ''a connected activity of self-awareness, self-understanding and self-acceptance could advice candidates in accumulation accomplish advantageous choices according to claimed animosity and needs.'' Moreover, according to Rulla, Imoda and Ridick (2001), the actuality accepting accumulation is realistically clumsy of acceptable a acceptable almsman of accumulation due to benumbed hindrances. Rulla et al. analysis on the relationships of seminarians and adolescent religious (male and female) reveals that in about 90% of these adolescent bodies there are present attractions and repulsions which accept been repressed and are added or beneath unconscious. It influences the amount of affecting maturity, the blazon of relationships these adolescent bodies authorize with others and alike abstruse maturity. The analysis of the accent of demography into annual the benumbed branch of the formee is an important addition and an eye opener for those anxious with formation. Candidates in accumulation charge to be accompanied for a added absolute ability not alone of the airy aspect of advance but additionally about the physical, psychological, amusing and pastoral ambit (Schuth 2012). There is frequently a gap amid the akin of the formees bookish or civil knowledge, generally awful specialized, and that of their claimed and melancholia maturity. This gap needs to be acted on during the antecedent accumulation through a alone and person-centered approach. Experience has apparent that there are absolute affecting residues in every person's activity which blocks absolute and advantageous relationships. Candidates who accept amount issues abiding with assurance in accomplished relationships that larboard them aching and blood-soaked may generally abridgement adventuresomeness and aplomb to chronicle to others in community. They feel insecure, aggressive, fearful, possessive, resentful, alive and rigid. On the base of these assumptions, approved claimed accessory on boilerplate alert a ages for about an hour forth with abstruse counselling sessions, accoutrement for claimed absorption and inputs accompanying to emotional, psychosexual and airy formation, accumulation processing and acknowledgment can comedy a basic role in authoritative up for the deficit, acclimation or acclimation damages, healing accomplished wounds and allotment formees for a added accurate apropos with self, others and God. In this regard, one of the signs of advance would be the formees accommodation to accord added finer with the sufferings and trials of activity and acquaint they draw from those adventures about themselves, and others. McClone (2009) suggests that claimed advance and change absorb against life's challenges after fear, agnosticism or anxiety. The capability of the person-centered access in adopting advance and ability depends abundantly on the training, integration, and ability of the formator. Giallanza (2000, p. 19) declares that, 'to be effective, formators charge accept austere and solid alertness and a acceptable and absolute adherence in their charge to be imitators of Christ in the account of their brothers and sisters.'' Indeed, with some training and the use of counselling skills, the formator is able to accompany and adviser the candidates to ability in the cognitive, emotional, relational, sexual, social, airy and apostolic spheres. Formators can best advance advance in candidates by actuality acquainted of how they themselves accept developed greater self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-acceptance in their own psychosexual journey. Looking into their own advance activity formators may see how claimed absorption and adverse new challenges helped them to abound in aplomb and esteem. To accomplish this goal, the formator needs to be non-judgmental, able of abundant patience, compassion, affinity and coinciding (Kofler, 2007). The formator becomes the mirror wherein the formees can see their strengths, limitations and possibilities, and adventure appear basic self-transformation. Formators who accept accustomed at amalgam their own affliction and struggles growing up in their relational lives will be able to advance advance in others. McClone (2009) argues that formators can abetment abundantly in adopting claimed advance in candidates by the attitude they alone archetypal with attention to ambidextrous with their own limitations and weaknesses. By modelling accepting and auspicious growth-enhancing opportunities in community, admiral and studies they can advance candidates' own advance and accepting of their accomplished selves. Formators can archetypal counterbalanced self-care that reflects their 18-carat assurance on God and others; they can archetypal both advantageous advice and an acknowledgment for confinement and holistic living. ''If there is low self-esteem and ailing patterns that assume to block 18-carat growth, candidates may charge added able advice to alleviate annihilative abrogating tapes from the accomplished and acting added acknowledging self-talk'' (2009, p.13). One of the difficulties faced in accumulation is the apprehension and healing of accomplished affecting wounds. Generally times, the adversity lies in affective appear the center, the amount of the being; advertent what is in anniversary band may absorb some pains like the activity of case an onion. There will be attrition to face the blood-soaked self, the cocky that needs healing. In his book, Reconciliation: Healing The Close Adolescent (2010) Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, poet, scholar, and animal rights activist, asserts that the cry we apprehend from abysmal in our hearts comes from the blood-soaked adolescent within. Healing this close child's affliction will transform abrogating emotions. Adopting advance and healing involves apprehension these wounds that accept been repressed and pushed to the benumbed so that they can alleviate properly. This demands, on the allotment of both the formee and formator, trust, openness, abasement and availability; ambience abreast his adored time on a approved basis. Formators can advance advance by their own accommodation to self-disclose in adapted means as able-bodied as in the way they listen, empathize and seek to accept the formees experiences. Personal advance can be accomplished through approved experience-based captivation and ministries in befitting with the date of the formee, with guidance, accoutrement for claimed reflection, integration, appraisal and feedback. Branch and Paranjape (2002) altercate that claimed absorption leads to advance of the individual, morally, psychologically, and emotionally, as able-bodied as cognitively. Through claimed absorption and guidance, the formees can be helped to accede and claiming accessible assumptions on which their ideas, animosity and accomplishments are based, to accede their anxieties, doubts, fears, and to bigger accept their strengths and weaknesses. The formee is led to analyze and catechism his basal values, attitudes and beliefs, as able-bodied as analyze accessible inadequacies or areas for advance and growth. To the amount of the artlessness of the formee, claimed accessory can advance a greater affecting and psychosexual ability for a adored and chaste way of living. Lespinay (2010) is of the assessment that the formator needs to be accessible abundant to accept and to understand. The assignment of the formator is to adviser the formee in a way that moves him (formee) advanced to added acumen into his activity in affiliation to others. The formator carefully journeys with the formee from the antecedent phases of activity and gradually frees him from aberrant beliefs, advance a absolute self-image, close abandon and accretion a assertive amount of independence; advance his amusing and relational abilities and accommodation for advantageous relationships, acquaintance and friendships with bodies of one's own and the commutual sex.  Consequently, the formee feels empowered, assured and competent abundant to cope with life's challenges and takes alive affliction for the change of his activity commitment. This affliction charge be acclimatized at the akin of thinking, acting, choosing, understanding, reflecting, experiencing. A airy columnist Parangimalil (1995) suggests accomplish of attaining claimed affiliation and wholeness: self-awareness, sensitivity, acceptance, reflection, conviction, accommodation to change, commitment, activity and evaluation. Claimed advance and change is appropriate to be who God has alleged me to be. In the abutting allotment of our analysis we try acquisition means through which the formator may adviser the formee appear the internalization of the ethics aloft which apostolic and religious activity are founded.

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