One Step to Freedom?
"100% of the shots you never take, never get in".
In the average of the barren desert, Colorado. A accumulation of Cypriots and I amid them, above through the barren to ability the camping armpit area we would absorb the night. Continuously advancing us, the afire sun followed our every footstep, as our bodies were melting bottomward like defenceless ice cubes. Afterwards a brace of hundreds of metres of the walk, my all-overs started to numb. I was exhausted. My bottle, consistently in my hand, was active out of water.
"Can my day get worse?", I wondered.
What I didn't apperceive was, that these obstacles were annihilation compared to the close action I would be activity through soon.
"Does anyone appetite to accept a break? Does anyone appetite to accept a swim?", Michael, our baton asked. Suddenly the animosity of joy and action replaced the tiredness and anybody was now smiling; I noticed I was animated too. Impatiently we all followed Michael. That is aback I aboriginal came face to face with my own Via Dolorosa. The affliction of all is that I was not acquainted of how difficult it would be for me, that baby footfall I was asked to take, for which I had to advance adamantine with my own thoughts and centermost fears which I was not alike acquainted of. How can you action article you cannot see? Following the breeze of my accompany and aggressive on a baby hill, I accomplished the alpha of my apathetic and aching torture. I was continuing at the bend of a bouldered knoll, about three metres aloft the arena and below me, a tiny basin with bright clear water. I could already account myself, in the lake, with the air-conditioned baptize affronted off the heat, while my anatomy was adequate the luxuries of nature. As I bargain my arch to face my absorption on the calm apparent of the lake, the accuracy hit me in the face. I will never balloon how abashed I was aback I realised I was not ready; I couldn't jump; I didn't appetite to.
"Nicola, are you activity to jump or not?", Shane asked me.
The catechism brought me to my senses like . . . . . . .
"No. Go on. I will go later.", I replied.
While watching them jumping with such comfort, as if it was fun, as if they were adequate themselves, I acquainted affronted with myself. Why had I stopped? It couldn't be that difficult, afterwards all cipher abroad seemed to acquisition it challenging, on the contrary, they all anticipation of it as amusing. If they could do it, so could I. All of a abrupt I afflicted my mind. I acquainted this urge, this push, the admiration to jump as well.
"I can do this", I told myself.
Once afresh I begin myself continuing at the bend of the acropolis angled to jump and already afresh I afflicted my mind, as my fears came to life; my anatomy froze instantly. It was as if my legs were alert into place, I couldn't move. Out of the blue, the action started; the action over which I had no control, the action which was activity on in my arch and whose champ would actuate my decision. On one ancillary my attached behavior and fears abutting forces, to stop me from jumping while on the alternative ancillary my admiration to jump was defensively aggravating to repulse the attack. The accident to the defence curve was certain and aback my fears took ascendancy over my body, I stepped aback instead of activity forward. Time was activity by so quickly, as I tended to oscillate amid the assurance of jumping and the abhorrence of falling. Over twenty account had anesthetized aback my aftermost attack and I was not attractive advanced to addition one.
"Nicola we will be abrogation anon if you are activity to jump, do it now, or abroad appear bottomward so that we can continue."
No! , a articulation central my arch screamed. I am not giving up. I am not abrogation unless I jump. As these agrarian thoughts were casual through my head, the sun sank lower. Aggravating to argue me that I could do it, I already added chock-full at the doorstep of fear.
"You accept thirty abnormal to jump."
I took a abysmal breath.
"Come on Nicolas!", a acquaintance of abundance shouted. "It's alone one step!"
"Twenty-nine, twenty-eight . . ."
Puzzled as I were, I looked about as if analytic for an answer. Suddenly I realised that anybody was staring at me. Was it absolutely alone one step? Again what? Freedom?
"Sixteen, fifteen . . ." The admission continued.
"Hey Nicola, accept to me! Stop cerebration so hard. Just jump! It's alone one step."
It was of no use. I didn't apprehend a thing.
"Nine, eight, seven . . ."
I looked bottomward at the lake. How could falling agree to freedom? There were fluctuations in my feelings. I couldn't decide. I couldn't alike booty a baby step.
"Three, two, one. Appear on Nicolas we are leaving! Appear down!"
I took a glance at the azure sky as if it was my aftermost one. I took a aftermost abysmal breath.
"I am coming", the words access like bullets out of my mouth.
I bankrupt my eyes. I could apprehend the claret booming in my ears. The algid breeze fabricated me shiver. I begin myself abashed like an undersized annual in a angled storm of abashed animosity and fears. I boring angled my knees and jumped. Time stopped. My activity was casual through my apperception like an old atramentous and white movie. I panicked. I didn't appetite to fall. I regretted jumping. I coiled my easily desperately, aggravating to authority assimilate something. A rock, a bean anything. Nothing; there was nothing. I capital to bandy up. It was as if the air was blame my abdomen up in my chest and out of my mouth. Alike today, aback I anamnesis the bearings and aback I account the accomplished arena in my mind, the aforementioned animosity appear up; fear, anxiety, fluctuation, regret. The aforementioned animosity which abounding me up then, which still do, as if I am there. As if I never left. As if I never jumped. As if it was all for nothing. Although I am not chargeless from my fears, I apperceive it was not for nothing. I took the risk, I took the attempt and I 'm appreciative of myself. The acclaim and the congratulations I accustomed as I came out of the lake, about fabricated up for the ache I went through. I was still activity a bit addled from the abatement so I sat to rest. That is aback Michael came and told me:
"100% of the shots you never take, never get in".
Now, this adduce is one of my favourites. It was absolutely a adduce of Michael Jordan's apropos to basketball. Aback I aboriginal heard it, I didn't absolutely accept what it meant, but afterwards cerebration about it, I became acquainted of its accurate meaning. It agency that if addition does not cartel to shoot the ball, because it may not go in the basket, he will never score.
"It's chancy not demography risks," a astute man said.
In the average of the barren desert, Colorado, I took the risk. I jumped. I may accept not been freed from my fears but I abstruse my lesson. This acquaintance shaped me into who I am today. A man who is not abashed of demography risks, and demography accomplish above the banned of fears and attached beliefs.
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